Didn't feel like doing this on FB, or doing it over 30 days. So...here we go. Enjoy?
day 01 - your favorite song
Paper Wings - Rise Against
day 02 - your least favorite song
Got really overplayed for me
Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
day 03 - a song that makes you happy
Testing 123 - Barenaked Ladies
day 04 - a song that makes you sad
Roadside - Rise Against
day 05 - a song that reminds you of someone
Old friend who's long-ago disappeared
Bright Spring Morning - Suburban Legends
day 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
Do fictional locations count? Good ol' Lutie
Sohphmore Slump or Comeback of the Year - Fallout Boy
day 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
Car accident, go!
Plastic Cup Politics - Less Than Jake
day 08 - a song that you know all the words to
The Big Sleep - Streetlight Manifesto
day 09 - a song that you can dance to
DDR counts.
Xenon - Mr. T
day 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
Long story
Breath - Breaking Benjamin
day 11 - a song from your favorite band
This Is Letting Go - Rise Against
day 12 - a song from a band you hate
Ugh, not every song needs to be a 7 minute long sprawling musical epic. It's old and tiring
Master of Puppets - Metallica
day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
Oh, It Is Love - Hellogoodbye
day 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
I doubt its expected because i doubt many have heard it
Chaoz Fantasy - ParagonX9
day 15 - a song that describes you
Long day - Matchbox 20
day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
overplayed
Americana - The Offspring
day 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
Spoonman - Soundgarden
day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
Light Grenades - Incubus
day 19 - a song from your favorite album
The Hounds - The Protomen
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
Vengance - The Protomen
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
Ride On Shooting Star - The Pillows
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
Just...the sound of it...
Amazing - Kanye West
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
Autumn in the park - Suburban Legends (Not a fan of the live version, but can't find any other version online)
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
It ain't about me.
A Better Place, A Better Time - Streetlight Manifesto
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh
Hee hee michael bolton
Jack Sparrow - The Lonely Island
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
none, but vocals for The Approaching Curve - Rise Against
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play
After Dark - Asian Kung-Fu Generation
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
Falling for the First Time -Barenaked Ladies
day 29 - a song from your childhood
If I had $1,000,000 - Barenaked Ladies
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year
Daughter - Pearl Jam
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I wonder
Life has been far from pleasant of late. This may be difficult to comprehend, with what may seem like good things going on all about me, but it is truth. I won't bore you with the details, the time for that has long past and I would find no solace in spewing words on here. But it makes me wonder. Why do we put up with it all? Why do we continue to fight, when there really is no fight to begin with? It's all just struggling for air against the undertow, isn't it? Personal agency. I never considered it much because I never had much of it. But I wonder, even if I had it, would I be any different? What if I could decide the path my life took, could turn around and be different.
And with that, I realize that I can. I can say fuck it all and stop doing what I'm doing if I want. It may not be a good idea, but I can. I would rather sit here and suffer than sit there and suffer under the heel of another, but the greater good comes from suffering under another, or at least so it seems. The more important question, then, is what I can do when there seems to be no alternative. I suffer under my own heel, and I have nowhere to flee, as I restrain myself. I do things I hate, become someone I never wish to be, or perhaps find myself hating what I once was as I drift back into the same old routines. "Who I am hates who I've been", in a sense. Where can I enact my agency there? And this leaves me unstable, unsure if I ever had agency in the first place, or if it was all illusion covering this slavery to self.
If I hate who I am, was, and what I am becoming, then I must do something to change this. But even then, does that mean I need to ignore it? Only a fool would think it proper to cast off entirely who they once were. A sinner may become a saint, but only by embracing and accepting their sins. One should have no regrets in life, even if they hate what they have done. This can be done, though it is very much not the easiest of paths to walk. It is a fool's errand to shun one's own life in such a way, to cut themselves off from who they once were and how that has shaped them. It is worse to embrace that which you hate, and continue it, as if you have no control over your actions. Instead, we must look forward, with hope in heart and mind that we can overcome what we once were. Because the feel shame or guilt isn't to regret who we were. To accept what we have done is not to excuse ourselves of the wrong, nor is it to cast guilt on ourselves. It is to know who we are and what we have done, so that we can know if not what to do, at least what not to do.
And with that, I realize that I can. I can say fuck it all and stop doing what I'm doing if I want. It may not be a good idea, but I can. I would rather sit here and suffer than sit there and suffer under the heel of another, but the greater good comes from suffering under another, or at least so it seems. The more important question, then, is what I can do when there seems to be no alternative. I suffer under my own heel, and I have nowhere to flee, as I restrain myself. I do things I hate, become someone I never wish to be, or perhaps find myself hating what I once was as I drift back into the same old routines. "Who I am hates who I've been", in a sense. Where can I enact my agency there? And this leaves me unstable, unsure if I ever had agency in the first place, or if it was all illusion covering this slavery to self.
If I hate who I am, was, and what I am becoming, then I must do something to change this. But even then, does that mean I need to ignore it? Only a fool would think it proper to cast off entirely who they once were. A sinner may become a saint, but only by embracing and accepting their sins. One should have no regrets in life, even if they hate what they have done. This can be done, though it is very much not the easiest of paths to walk. It is a fool's errand to shun one's own life in such a way, to cut themselves off from who they once were and how that has shaped them. It is worse to embrace that which you hate, and continue it, as if you have no control over your actions. Instead, we must look forward, with hope in heart and mind that we can overcome what we once were. Because the feel shame or guilt isn't to regret who we were. To accept what we have done is not to excuse ourselves of the wrong, nor is it to cast guilt on ourselves. It is to know who we are and what we have done, so that we can know if not what to do, at least what not to do.
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